How we saw Canada in three days (sort of)

Okay before everyone gets too hyper… I want to disclose the fact that I do know Canada is an enormous country and it is actually impossible to see it in a long weekend.  However, for the purpose of this blog, I am sharing what we did manage to see and do in 3 wonderful days (with essentially no planning)!

Here are the 7 steps to success for any long weekend trip

       Step One:  Get there!  (Duh)

For us… we boarded a miniature plane from Chicago to the Capitol city of Ottawa. We rented car with a GPS (thank God for this- cuz our phones were on airplane mode) and then arrived at the fabulous “Arc Hotel” where we were greeted with complimentary sparkling wine!  Hello Canada.  We like you already!!





Ross on the tiny plane

Gotta love the freebies

No lines going through customs...Never saw this before, Love it!!

Step Two: Hoof it. 

We put on our comfy shoes and took in the wonderful sites of Parliament Hall and the Rideau Canal as we walked through the city.  We used the free map from the airport to see the major sites (both of them...lol)

Parliment Hall

 We thought about taking a boat tour on the canal….then we decided to go eat lunch instead! Ahh...the beauty of not making any plans.

Rideau Canal... It looks much prettier in person

Tulips Everywhere! 

       Step Three: Head to the Hub. 

Every City seems to have a Hub… and in Ottawa it is all about the Byward Market area.  This market is about 4 square blocks of restaurants, museums, shops, boutiques, etc. It is basically where all the action is.

Approaching the market area

Here we enjoyed some great local craft beers, saw some interesting characters, and sampled some amazing food (including beaver tail)!  We spent the entire day and most of the night in the Byward Market…shut that place down. Shocker.

We had to try a Beaver Tail

Ross, Ryan, and I having lunch at the market

Dive Bar that we had to check out

Local Beer

Yum... this was perfect for the three of us to split

       Step Four: Get the heck out of there. 

Yep... No need to linger in a small city. So on our second day we decided to take our headaches to Montreal!  Unfortunately, I guess we were in a hurry, and drove a bit too fast. Oops (blame it on the kilometers/ miles thing)!!

The most expensive speeding ticket ever

 Oh well, the two hour journey wasn’t perfect, but we eventually arrived safe and sound.  Bonjour Montreal!!

       Step Five: Take a tour or two. 

We began our stomp through Montreal with a carriage ride through Vieux Montreal (Old Montreal).  Next, we decided to take an amphibian tour to see the city by water.  This was a great way to get the "lay of the land" so we could scope out the hotspots. 

Our guide through Old Montreal

View from the carriage

 Old Montreal feels like a European city.  The official language is French so everything is written in French and everyone speaks French.  There are beautiful cobblestone streets lined with adorable outdoor cafes. Super cute!! 

Le St James Hotel... I think it is one of the most exclusive hotels- it is an old Bank converted to a hotel

Love these tours...it is a bus that drives into the water and then becomes a boat

View of the city via boat

The cafe's in Old Montreal

Confusing parking signs exist in every country

The Notre Dame!!

Step six: relax, relax, relax

Step 6 is the hardest step for Ryan and me. We are sort of "busy bodies" and we dont like to sit around idle for too long. However, after two days of driving, exploring, sightseeing, and walking… we were exhausted. We had seen Old Montreal, China town, Crescent Street, and pretty much everything in between.  We finally took some time to have a few rooftop terrace cocktails and watch the hustle and bustle below us! 

rooftop terrace

The entrance to China Town.  Apparently it was given to Montreal by Shanghai

       Step seven: Go Home Bozo

Just like step 1, this is obvious but I felt like I should include it for any dummies who decide to follow this guide too literally.   Our journey home was actually another road trip to Albany, New York (for business purposes) where we eventually caught a flight back to Chicago!  

headed to the border

This is all we saw on the drive to Albany....not bad

safe travels!

Three things I learned about Canada:

1. When you pay for a meal in a restaurant, they bring the credit card machine to the table. I love this!! It is funny cuz they all call it the "machine"...you would think someone would give it a name by now.
2. Ottawa is fun for a Pit stop and Montreal is great for a weekend getaway. 
3.  Due to crapola weather, we missed out on two major things I wanted to do in Montreal:  a bike tour of the city and the hike up Mount Royal. Boo Hoo. 

Jill

Next stop is San Francisco/ Napa... We leave this Friday (my birthday)!!

THE ARMPIT OF AMERICA

So humans may have two armpits but in my opinion the U.S.A has four.  Yep, I have been all over the United States and I have identified the four major pits.  Feel free to disagree but here is my list:

1.    Detroit, Michigan

2.   Reno, Nevada

3.  Anywhere in Arkansas

4.  Atlantic City, New Jersey

This last business trip was actually to Philadelphia but we decided to drive to Atlantic City to revisit that  particular pit.  Now we are no dummies, we have been there several times.  I’m actually writing this to share with you the secrets to enjoying yourself should you ever end up in one of these “cities”.  The rules are the same, it doesn’t really matter which pit you go to.

Rule #1:  Dress Down

Yep…You heard me.  You wanna blend in- so jeans and a cute top is considered way dressy.  No heels ladies, no dress pants for the boys.  Heck, I think I wore the same shirt two days in a row!  Not a problem in the pit! If you want to see sweat pants and Disney T-shirts…just go to an armpit city.  Atlantic City in particular had lots of men in velvetine track suits!  Oh-la-la baby.

Rule #2: Plan on drinking a lot

Just do it.

And start early, like breakfast honey. 

Trust me, it will make your life easier.  The people you meet in these towns like to “tie one on” and so it’s much more fun to deal with them if you join them.  It is not uncommon to see people doing jager shots and double Absolute shots at 8 am.  The old ladies love the white zinfandel wine.  It’s pink and tastes like a wine cooler.  I am not sure it is is even approved for consumption by the FDA!  The characters in these towns also like to talk…they are friendly and can actually be fun.  Just ignore the smoke blowing in your face (they all smoke) and join the crowd. 

Breakfast!

sneaking in our own Red Bull

Rule #3: Gamble

All armpits have casinos. That’s a fact (I just made it up…but whatever, it’s my blog).  I think it is true tho.  Whether it is an Indian Reservation or major chain casino, they are out there. Atlantic City is basically a huge boardwalk on the ocean with casinos.  It feels sort of like a carnival on the beach. They have the t-shirt shops, rides on the pier, funnel cakes, confusing stores, and no shortage of psychic readers.  The boardwalk goes on for miles and there are casinos the entire way!  So gambling up and down this strip certainly provides a great way to entertain oneself. 

Four of a Kind!  Winning!!

Ballys Entrance

Rule #4: Don’t try to make sense of it

Let me explain this one.   Armpit towns in America are confusing.  They have weird stores that always seem to be in an identity crisis.  Atlantic City has too many examples but there is one in particular called “Peanut World”.  Let me repeat…it is called “Peanut World”.  One would think they actually sell peanuts right?  Nope…we walked in and saw NO PEANUTS.

None!! 

In a normal city you may question this… but in an armpit, you need to expect it.   They actually advertise lottery tickets, hot dogs, sodas, souvenirs, sundries, and of course psychic readings.  Whatever!  Where the F are the peanuts?

OMG.. Peanut World

So that’s it… those are my rules that I literally just made up!  I hope you enjoyed them and you can actually put them to use someday!

Atlantic City Beach!

The Taj Mahal

The AC Pier!!

Obviously, every city has its pros and cons. So you don’t think I am completely dissing AC, I want you to know that visiting there in the summer is much more enjoyable.  The boardwalk is “hoppin’” with meatheads, the beaches are packed, the outdoor restaurants and bars open their doors, and the 80’s music is playing.  If you venture out to the Borgata (not on the boardwalk) it is like you are suddenly back in America!  Everyone has their teeth, the bathrooms have toilet paper, and the food is edible!!  Crazy but totally true!

On a different note, I know in my blog I said my next stop was Montreal… however, that trip was unfortunately cancelled.  I am hoping it is rescheduled for a later date!   

As of right now I don’t even know where the next stop will be so you will have to stay tuned!

Jill Hepokoski 

Surviving Vegas

We just “survived” yet another weekend in Las Vegas and guess what??  We lived to tell about it.  Yep, despite the excessive drinking, gambling, and eating, we all made it out alive.   Now the “WE” that I am referring to consisted of 7 friends from Chicago and California that decided it would be a good idea to meet in Vegas for March Madness. Our original group consisted of 9, but some last minute circumstances prevented two of them from coming.  Boo hoo.

Since we like these friends so much, we were not about to let this stop them from enjoying Vegas with us (sort of).  So we did what any normal people would do…we drew a picture of them and toted them around all weekend!  Actually only one of them got toted around, her name is Karen.  For some reason Eric was left upstairs in the room and didn’t get to come out to play.  Sorry Eric!

Meet Karen!

Karen accompanied us to the sports book, she hung out in the diamond lounge, and even came to dinner and a show!  One morning, I sat down at the bar and the bartender asked me where Karen was!   Apparently she made an impact on him.   

Karen being social

Yikes...Karen got kissed

The original “Karen” got lost by day two, so we improvised and made a mini napkin version for the remainder of the journey.  Normal behavior huh? 

Karen came to dinner

Shes at the head of the table

uh oh... we lost karen.  Heres her replacement

 

The journey began early each morning with booze….lots of it.  The one thing you can be sure of in a casino full of adults drinking lots of booze is that they are going to eventually act like idiots.  We were no exception.  What do you expect?  When a bunch of idiots get together they meet more idiots.  Suddenly all the idiots are making bad decisions and taking pictures of each other.  That’s what they do. 

random stranger with Slice

Hey Boys

Without sharing too much, our weekend included a bull ride, rock climbing a casino wall,  falling asleep in a show, steak dinner in a private room (some of us may or may not remember this one), and many hugs to Javier.   Don’t ask…  Oh, did I mention the gambling?  There was plenty of that as well!

another random girl in a shoe

posing with a passed out guy!





rock climbing and spanking a complete stranger

So that is basically Vegas in a nutshell: Drunk idiots hugging other drunk idiots while losing money gambling on anything.  Good times huh?  Actually it is!  Trust me…we will be back with another group to repeat the performance!!

Javier with Josh

Three things I learned in Vegas (on this trip):

1.    Extra olives in bloody marys = breakfast

2.   Earl of Sandwich is the best sandwich ever

3.   When in doubt, pose for a pic with a stranger

Stay tuned because I think the next stop is Montreal!!