An open letter to myself

Forgive my absence, I have been busy since January 7th!  That's right... I narrowed it down to that day since that is when we closed on our house (Ryan's house- who are we kidding?)  Although we only moved 4 miles from our old place... It still seemed like a big move.  Don't judge.

That is my story and I am stickin' to it.  


Oh,  we are landlords now too.  But, I will talk about that later... maybe a different night. 

For now, let's talk about the trauma of moving, shall we? Maybe, just maybe-  you can learn from our stupid mistakes :).

Here is a list of things I would tell myself on January 6, 2015 if I could go back in time. 

Notes to Jill from Jill (pre-move):

1.  First, you are a bozo! Do not move in the middle of winter in the Midwest when the temp is -20 degrees and it is snowing!!  

2. Jill... Have you lost your F-ing brain cells?  Do not promise new tenants they can move into your old place the day after you move out.  Better yet, don't assume you can move your life in 4 hours. It needs to be cleaned dumbo.  

3. Additionally, Do not assume your boyfriend who has never lifted a finger will suddenly transform into a handyman.  You are an absolute idiot. He is not handy and he will never be.  Change your expectations girlfriend.  Geeze

typical saturday

4. Okay freak...Do not underestimate how loud a train can be and how much your sensitive boyfriend hates it.  He might end up on the couch sometimes. Sometimes might be almost every night!! 
 
5. Do not assume trash pick-up is included in your association.  Do not wait two weeks to find a company and get service.  There may be an awkward moment when your new neighbors bust you sneaking wine bottles and pizza boxes into their trash.  Just act cool dude... they are too confused to say anything.  Maybe they will forget about it.

6. Do not assume your new garage door opener works and do not leave your ladder at your old house.  You will need that ladder to program your new opener.  It will be much easier than climbing on top of a BMW.  Remember fool it is minus 20 outside.  What a dumbass. Your gloves are in a box someplace too... so double dumb.

7. Do not ignore the home inspector.  He will show you how to work your new thermostat and your central vacuum.  It really should not take 3 months to learn how to empty the "magic" canister.  

this thing collects dirt

8. Not all dishwashers are created equal.  Be patient, one day your stupid "fancy" one will work properly.  Just not today.

9. Buy a shovel and some rock salt!  Are you a royal idiot?  It is snowing and home depot actually runs out of this crap.  Yes they ran out of shovels.  




Okay- so I made a few mistakes...Nobody is perfect right?  Lets fast forward to May 10th, 2015.  (BTW-happy mothers day mom)

So here is what I want to say to myself today (things I did right!) :

1.  You were successfully able to move your life (and ryans 5 outfits) in a single day.  Somehow you did it and you got the old place professionally cleaned!  Miracles can happen. You didn't die that day. (I will admit our friend handled the furniture while we were out of town).

2.  You have learned new skills: programming garage openers, hanging closet shelves and fixing mini fridges... Go update that resume,  you are a champ.

3. Booze plus overstock.com= some great cheap deals!  score - especially on the rugs.  You go girl.

overstock rug...ordered while drinking

4. Choosing a house with a fireplace and a Jacuzzi tub has made you much happier.  Who knew Ryan would be addicted to the fireplace?  Maybe you are not an idiot.

ryan prefers the fireplace over me!

5. You now have an awesome space to have friends come over.  Your dreams of  owning a bed and breakfast are not happening... but you are on your way (sort of).  Might need more friends, hmmm. 

the welcome wagon 

6. You are on your way to creating the best mini bar in America.  You are not there yet, but it is looking good! Go get 'em turbo.

perfect mini bar 

no sensors at our house

So there you have it.

The move is over and we are officially unorganized in our new life 4 miles away from the old one.  

Somehow, while typing tonight, I managed to get a computer virus.  I am currently on the phone with India- yes I called the country.  Right now I  have a cabernet in hand, virus at my fingertips, and I might be getting cranky.  So I am cutting this a bit shorter than I expected freaks.

Peace out y'all.  

OH... BTW- I am super excited to say we will be going to LA, Vegas (of course), and Europe soon.  Life almost seems normal again.

Has anyone been to Berlin, Amsterdam, London, or Paris?  I have been to a few but I am always looking for suggestions!  

Touring Chicago in the Winter

 

My current chalkboard caption

 

 

When people come to visit us here in Chicago, we have a "standard" list of things we usually like to do and see:

1.Visit the Bean
2.Go to the top of the Hancock building 
3. Take an Architecture tour
4. Cubs or Bears game
5. Eat pizza 

I know this is fairly generic, but it has proven to provide a pretty good time in the past so I am sticking with it!


Okay so in December (I realize it is February now... I have been busy people), my cousin Brooke and her friend BJ came to town... 

Yes her name is BJ

meet Brooke and BJ

Oh, and Jeni and Slice also showed up for a portion of that weekend!!

Here is how it all went down:

We started with my typical tourist list-


We posed in front of the Bean

 

Hi Bean

More Bean

The Bean makes people smile

Bean Pose

Next on the list... We went to Hancock building, but unfortunately it was the foggiest day in the history of Chicago!  We had zero visibility! 

 

When I say zero, I mean zero



The view could not be worse!

Did you hear me?  I said zero visibility.  We didn't see a thang!

 

Fasted elevator in the USA

At least the lobby and the elevator were fun

They were extra excited to see wreaths

Moving on... Since it was winter- we could not do the architectural tour (and Brooke claims she "doesn't do boats"), we went bar hopping!

no coat needed its only December

Chelsea even managed to meet the girls

Since it was December, We went to a holiday party at Mahony's

Ho-Ho-Ho freaks

here is what happens with wristband specials

It only takes one guy to ruin a photo

Oh, also we introduced them to Uber and LYFT- apparently this isn't a "thing" yet in New Orleans!  

Brooke sat up front to chat with drivers

Or on BJ's lap

Omg... We introduced them to the Wiener Circle!!
 If you are from Chicago then you know what the WC is, if you do not know- I'll let you look it up!

These boys were brutal on us

typical WC fashion

It was here at the Wiener Circle, that BJ got her new nickname "Big Booty Hoe" -hmmm.... interesting!
On a different note, Each evening we got a bit harassed by the workers at the Hyatt Hotel.  They have gotten to know us over the years, and they find it okay to tease us.

Is this even allowed?

Just to keep it classy... We went shopping in the Gold Coast and acted fancy drinking expensive wine and champs.  

money cant buy you class

 

Eataly!!

As if this wasn't enough fun... we topped off the amazing weekend with a super perfect, not-freezing Bears game!!

I made them Saints scarves

what game?

Ryan getting attacked

Club level high rollers

Rootin' for the Saints

No trip to Chicago would be complete without eating the deep dish! 

Lou Malnati's

We even bumped into this guy a few times

Mr Claus

 Okay so we got super lucky when they were here, the temps were not unbearable. 

We were totally able to walk around outside and feel our faces. 

Currently, those of us who live here are not so lucky.  We are frozen and cranky. We haven't felt our faces in weeks. 

 

I can't wait to change my chalkboard caption. 

 

Come by and visit... in the Summer!!  We will show you the list. 

:)

 

Next stop ?  I believe we will be going to Mexico in a few weeks followed by March Madness in Vegas. 

 

We recently moved into a new house... It has consumed all my free time, but I love it.  We are now officially landlords with landlord problems as well. 

 

Maybe Ill type some landlord stories soon. 

 

Aruba Wave

I am kinda mad at an air freshener.  I know, this sounds ridiculous, just hear me out for a sec. Well technically I am mad at the company who makes the air freshener.  So I guess this means I am mad at the "Glade" company.  Does this make me crazy? 

Here it is!!

Probably, but here is why.

You see, I bought this air freshener by Glade called "Aruba Wave" a few months ago.  I put it in my bathroom and glanced at it every single day.  It has a cute little picture of a beach on it filled with palm trees.  It is a pretty picture, I have no issues with that.  So then I sprayed it.   I got used to the smell.  If I could describe it to you I would use the words "sandy citrus" in some clever way.  I am currently not being clever, so lets just keep the description at "sandy citrus"

Put yourself in my shoes.  Here I am staring at the "Aruba Wave" and smelling the "sandy citrus" day in and day out.  I had a preconceived idea of Aruba in my head and my nose.  

Then something happened.

We actually went to Aruba!

We packed our bags and flew from Orlando to Aruba for the Thanksgiving Holiday.  We stayed there 5 nights at the gorgeous Hyatt resort.

The island was amazing.  Postcard worthy photos in every direction!

Take a look at the island:

View from Lunch

They have "I love Aruba" signs everywhere

Yes please

beach side 

Another Beach Bar

5 nights of sunsets

Some days we even went in the pool

Baby Beach

Amstel Bright beer- Tastes like Corona

Yeah this is Aloe

Beach Bars and boats

Now our hotel was not "all-inclusive", so we decided to rent a car and drive all around the island

Donkeys and goats in the middle of the road!!

Fresh coconuts at the beach

Cactus everywhere

More Aruba love 

Windy every day

Ryan complaining about the sand

downtown Aruba

Downtown

 I definitely think when going to the Caribbean, it is way cheaper to choose a destination that is all-inclusive.  On this Aruba trip, we spent a lot more money on food and drinks than some of our previous trips.  However, this particular resort was a bit more luxurious than some of the others.   So I guess it depends on what you are looking for.  Also, the all-inclusive options have tons more built in entertainment and fun, where as this place was basically just a fancy hotel on the beach.  One gorgeous beach, I might add.  

So in the entire 5 nights we stayed on this wonderful island, you know what I noticed?  It did not smell like that sandy citrus bottle at all!!  Not even close!  You know what else? There really weren't any waves in Aruba.  I had been duped by the Glade company.  I mean, did they even go to the island before they labeled this product?

I don't think so!  

But guess what?  

We did.

We know exactly what the real Aruba looks and smells like! 

Take that- Glade.

moral of the story:  Do not pic your vacations based on your air fresheners, that is just dumb.

For the record... Aruba smells and looks better in person!

Should I send this to Glade?

The dumb air freshener remains