The Booze Cruise

Our boat for 3 nights

Everyone knows there are three types of people who go on cruises:
1. The Newly-Wed
2. The Nearly-Dead
3. The Over-Fed

So when we went on a boat a few weeks ago, we were fully prepared to spend a long weekend mingling with members of all three of these types of peeps.  The itinerary was simple.  We would depart Miami and peacefully cruise our way to the Bahamas for a brief 3 nights. We had no intentions other than relaxing and getting a little bit of beach time.   

The party bar

here is our room

of course we went here

Early morning walk around ship

However, what we did not anticipate is an entire new group of people who seem to be attracted to the quick weekend cruises:  

These are the Drunk Messes

From the moment we stepped out of our room, we knew this boat was different.

No oldies 
No kids
No romantic lovers 
Huh?  
Were we on a cruise?

It was more like a Vegas Club

There was a DJ, dancing, bottle service, bachelor parties, oh... and fist-fighting.

Fist-fighting?  On a Cruise? 
Oh yes 

The party has begun

Remember when I said bottle service.  Yeah, these clowns were ordering whole bottles of Grey Goose, Johnnie Walker, and Patron poolside.  

It was just a matter of time before the douche bags started fighting.  

In our case it was just about two hours into the cruise in which the pool fight broke out.  We saw the whole thing, yet we have no idea what happened.  Does that make sense?


Apparently the Captain of the ship made a few announcements (we could not hear them) and the boat turned around.  Next thing we knew.... we could once again see the Miami skyline.

Hi Miami

Uh oh

So I think we dropped of one "drunk messes".  Done.  Glad it wasn't me. 
Now we can enjoy our night and wake up in Nassau.  

Stay with me here....

Day 2

We wake up, head to breakfast, and get on our gear.  Its time to explore Nassau!!

Right?

Not so fast again

Unfortunately, we see an island near us and it is not Nassau.  It is the fake Norwegian Cruise Island.   They call it "Great Stirrup Cay" or something. Doesn't matter what it is cuz it is gorgeous!

yes that is a stingray

Apparently there was some sort of hurricane or tropical storm brewing so we had a change in the itinerary.

Oh well.... so day 2 is now a beach day!!!

skin safety before vanity

These private islands are amazing.  They offer all the amenities anyone could want.  Paddle boarding, snorkeling, beaches, free food, music, blah blah blah.

pure joy-blah blah blah

king of the beach

We had a fabulous beach day, that is  all you need to know.  Oh, did I mention that I ran into an old friend named Marie on the boat?

Marie and I

Yeah, can you believe it? 

We hung out with Marie and Laura the entire beach day.

Marie and Laura

Day 3

Are you still with me?



I guess mother nature was on our side. We diverted the stupid storm and ended up in Nassau on day 3 after all. 

The freshest conch ever

The official entrance

of course we went here 

straw market

Atlantis

weird fish

Day 4- goes as follows

Wake up

find outrageous bar tab hung on the door

sober up  (kind of) 

We spent how much on booze?

Ugh... I have a headache

Get me off this damn boat

moral of the story:  A 3 night cruise to the Bahamas is a total cover up.  It is a weekend booze cruise in disguise.  

Excuse me while I get my liver checked.

stay tuned.... I am currently typing exciting stories about Istanbul and New Orleans (again).