Life really is a beach in the Dominican

Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

 

best view ever!!!

 

pool with swim up bar

Guess what?

 I totally learned something new last week:

Crashing someone else's vacation is easier than planning your own. 

Yep

Our friends (Sharon and Julio), planned a week long trip to the Dominican Republic.  They did all the research, picked a hotel, and made all the arrangements.  We simply got wind of it and sort of "crashed their party."  I am not even sure we were ever really invited.  We literally just booked a ticket and showed up!

 

meet Sharon and Julio

Here they are again

Oh well... aren't you glad you are our friends? It is possible we may crash your vacation next.  The good news is that we invite anyone to join us on all our trips!! 

Back to Sharon and Julio.  So they were good sports, and I don't think they minded.  After all, we think we are good company, how could they possibly complain?

So here is how a typical day went in Punta Cana at the Riu Palace resort.

1. wake up

morning headache face

2. eat breakfast- I guess I have no breakfast buffet pics!

 

3. drink champs

coffee plus champs

4. go to the beach

the hardest part of our day was walking to the beach

5. jump in the water

beach time!

6. drinky drinky (that's what they say there)

uno cervaza por favor

7. take showers- luckily no picks of this!

8. go to dinner

steak dinner

sushi night

Italian night

9. sleep

this takes skill

10. wake up and repeat

my kind of breakfast

For 5 days straight...this is what we did. 

You didn't think I was gonna share every detail with you ?  Or did you?

Now the boys did enjoy a few rounds of golf  while we were there.  Heck, we even joined them one day just to change the routine.

PGA wannabe

nice swing

random French Canadian guy golfing with us

Caddy Shack

look out

Here is the thing about the all-inclusives:  there is really nothing to do!  So having friends along makes for a much better experience.  I mean nobody really wants to spend 5-7 days straight with their spouse do they?

still smiling on day 4

bird shaped fruit?  confusing

housewife wannabe

fountain pose

apparently the fountain was the place to be

And here are a few more photos...

stupid

 

Dining outdoors

aperitif time

lobby bar- our nightly stop before dinner

enjoying the live entertainment at the courtyard

our final dinner

last day at the beach

drinks on the beach

duck faces

free unlimited booze in the room- we never touched it!

Sharon and I at the sports bar

What is the moral of the story?

 

 

In the simplest of terms:  Find some friends and crash their vacation, its way easier than planning your own!

 

 

 

 

 



 

Talk Derby to me

The famous twin spires!

So we went to the Kentucky Derby.

 

Again. 

ryan and I outside Churchill Downs

 

For those of you who haven't been there, I need you to understand this isn't just a horse race. It is an entire day. In fact, it is an entire weekend experience!  The day before the Derby, there is a race called "The Oaks" which is just like the derby for female horses called Fillies.

 

The Oaks day at Churchill downs is just like the Derby day.  People dress up, Mint Juleps are served, and the festivities last from 10-7ish.  The overall theme on the Oaks day is in support of breast cancer awareness, so people generally wear pink!

cheeseheads and weird guy staring at me

love it

real men wear pink

 

 

The bars in Louisville are even allowed to stay open all night on the eve of the Derby!

 

 

 

 

 

4th street - Louisville

Louisville is overly packed for the Derby weekend. I think there are about 160,000 people who attend the track on race day. It is somewhat ridiculous for an event that actually lasts like 2 minutes.

So Ryan and I figured out the perfect method of enjoying a day at the track while soaking it all in.

We call this method "BBB or triple B."

Betting, Bathroom,  and Beer technique

You see, we don't exactly buy tickets to the Derby.  We simply show up at Churchill Downs on race day and pay the $50 entrance fee.  This means we are in the "infield" which is the inside of the racetrack with about 80,000 other crazy people.  This also means that it is hot, crowded, and chaotic.  So you have to have a system in place to ensure the most enjoyment.  This is how we invented BBB.

BETTING

The first thing we do is place our bets.  Now there are 11 races on Derby day.  The lines are extremely long!!  Especially before race number 10 which is known as the Kentucky Derby.  You probably know we are big gamblers, but overall horse betting is a terrible bet.  The house takes almost a 25 percent profit -which is considered horrendous in the gambling world.  However, betting on horses is fun, so we make an exception.  Generally we make super safe bets and pool our cash and bet $40 per race on the favorite horse to "show".  This means we win just about every race, but we only win on average $5-10.  Just enough to feel like we are actually winning!  This system seems to have worked for us over the years, so we are stickin with it.

the betting lines!

even the high rollers gotta wait

BATHROOM

After we place our bets, we head to the bathrooms.  There are lines for this as well, so we get out of the gambling line and wait in line for a dumb port o' potty.  Surprising enough, every bathroom I went to seemed super clean and well stocked!!  

at least you can watch tv while you wait

BEER

The last step in the BBB is getting the beer!  Of course, you guessed it, we have to wait in yet another line!  Would you believe that Churchill Downs actually ran out of beer on Derby day just before the big race??  

the beer tent

How could this happen in Kentucky????

The entire process of triple B takes about 30-40 minutes.  This actually is perfect because by the time we get our beer, it is time for the next race to start.  So we watch the race, and repeat the process!

Enough about our dumb gambling system... here is a little of what you might see if you happen to attend the Derby in the future:


These people take the "dressing up thing" to another level!!

typical menswear

Where's Waldo?

The Ghostbusters

ridiculous crowds

Mr Fred Flintstone



drunk guy passed out

trash overload

 

The huge jumbotron- bigger than two basketball courts!!

Its my Aunt Sheila- she finally made it in the blog!

Derby Selfie

Celebrating

So who is ready to try out our BBB method next year??   




 

The Madness in Vegas

THE MADNESS IN VEGAS

WTF??

Alright people, by now I am sure you are all sick of hearing about our Vegas trips right?  Well guess what?  Too bad, cuz we just went there again for March Madness and I am here to tell you all about it!

 

Here were the players on the trip:

 

Karen, me, Ryan, Slice

Vince and Cristina

 Whenever you have an entourage in Vegas, it is best if everyone has a clear-cut role.  So let me break down the jobs of everyone in our particular group:


Ryan- He is kind of the quiet dictator.  He basically makes all major decisions about where we stay, eat, and play.  However, he doesn't really voice his opinions to the group, he leaves me to do the dirty work. He is also the key to all the free stuff so we don't mind the dictatorship.

Me- I am the self appointed boss of the entire group.  I tell everyone their roles and hold them all accountable.  They get punished/ rewarded accordingly.  I am kind of pushy too. I basically tell everyone what we are doing at all times and plan most of the details.   I have no idea why they listen to me. 

Cristina- She is usually in charge of supplies.  She is a good planner and she always brings booze, sippy cups, and a few other essentials.  She also always provides comic relief since she has no idea how to gamble or even what sport we are betting on.  Cristina makes normal everyday boring things into fun activities.  In fact, she makes miserable moments fun.  She would be a good cell mate in prison. 

Karen- We decided on this trip it is better if Karen NOT be in charge of anything tangible. She lost her privileges after a small incident involving a room key.   However, Karen is good with people.  Therefore- we put her in charge of Slice.  Karen also becomes the "voice of reason" after about 8pm since she has a good head on her shoulders.

Slice (Alice AKA Slice)-  Lets just say Slice's strengths are in entertainment.  She is super excited about everything and at times pleasantly unpredictable. Slice is good because she just goes with the flow.  Bossy people like to have easy-going friends.  Slice is always happy too. Even when we lose all our money, slice is smiling.  She has a knack for falling down as well.  We should buy her knee pads.

Vince- He has a crucial role as the peacekeeper/ crisis manager.   He seems to get along with others and he is the only helpful man in this group (ryan would leave us all in a burning building).  Vince jumps into action when things get tricky.  He is probably the only one with a brain once the alcohol starts flowing.  When the whole group gets drunk, Vince is able to steer us in some sort of direction.   He is also our DJ.

DJ Vince

 
So those are the "players" and here is how we play:

1. We always "pre-medicate"

  Cristina brings whatever freaky hangover remedy she has found online or weird store she goes to in California.  Usually its "Noho" and we all take our morning dose before we start drinking.  Nobody knows if this stupid stuff works.  The directions say you are supposed to drink half in the morning and half before bed.  Slice drinks the whole thing in the mornings cuz she says she will be too drunk to remember the second half. 

NOHO!  Hangover defense!

another gimmick we brought

2. We take time to Pass out trinkets 

  This year I was obsessed with straws and cups.  We found these amazing iphone cup holders that seemed to attract the attention of everyone!  This will not only help you make friends with dumb drunk people, but it usually scores extra points and entertainment for the vegas bartenders.  Extra points = more free drinks.  duh. 

Basketball hoop straw and phone cup

the best cups ever

3. We are dumb enough to gamble on anything and everything
I suppose this is what Vegas is really about, so it is not surprising that we participate. 

Not even sure where this  team is from

sometimes we win

4. We take advantage of all the freebies

From free rooms, free drinks, free food, shows, vip lounges... we have mastered the art of getting hooked up.  

headache in a glass

champs

5. We take care of each other when necessary

Every now and then, someone may get a little too tipsy. The good thing about a big group is that there is always a few than can "tuck in the drunk ones".

This is about 8pm

maybe 4 pm

6. We monitor our BAC continuously

I bought this Breathalyzer on the internet and it was the most entertaining device I have ever brought on vacation.  Can you imagine spending four days in vegas and watching your BAC fluctuate? 

legally drunk

checking the BAC

Karen checking

we should have brought wet wipes

So that's our yearly trip to Sin City in a nutshell.  Here are a few other pics :

double shot

I guess we did walk outside

Karen and Me

quad elevator selfie

hanging in the high limit at Caesars

breakfast with Karen and Slice

Serious business at The Cosnopolitan

new ferris wheel- not open yet!!

 

Bellagio at night

Here is what I learned on this trip:

 

 

* Vegas is the only place in the USA where you can legally bet on sports (Atlantic city is currently trying to legalize it)

*For those of us too old to go to clubs, the Cosmopolitan bar "Bond" is the next best thing

*The Breathalyzer never gets over 0.18 -no matter how many shots!!

 

The End

stay tuned...our next stop is Punta Cana for a little R&R! 



10 of the worst things that can happen

Do you ever experience something and say to yourself "hmmm, that was annoying?"  Well I do.  It happens all the time. 

For no reason whatsoever, I have decided to compile a list of 10 things that "grind my gears":

Ten of the worst things that can happen:

1. Getting behind people who stop at the top of an escalator!  They are always confused and completely unaware of the chaos they are creating downstream.   Even worse are those lunatics who storm into the elevator before you can disembark.  Hate both kinds.

2. Running out of chapstick, losing chapstick, or being unable to locate your chapstick.  All are equally as devastating.  Must. Have. Chapstick.

3. Watching people board an airplane.  This can either be  a painful or  humorous process, depending on my mood. Confused people are the best and the worst.  Dude, your bag don't fit.  Fogettaboutit!

4. Getting a "bingo" in scrabble with no place to put it.  Its the highest of highs and lowest of lows within minutes.  Probably what a crack head feels like.

5. Stinky people.  Do I have to explain?  Here is some advice for the stinkos: Brush your teeth ,wash your hands, take a shower, wet wipes, mouthwash, gum, deodorant, bleach, fabuloso, laundry, body spray, dentist, doctor, mints, powder.  Try a few of these.

6. Getting behind the slow motion people at the ATM who have multiple transactions.  Suddenly they wanna deposit, withdrawl, and transfer money.  Don't you people know the golden rule?  Puff- Puff -Pass.

7. Losing sight of a spider you have been tracking on the ceiling.  Now you gotta wonder...is it on my head, is it gonna attack me, where the F is that asshole?

8. Hearing about a special sale or happy hour after you have made your purchase!  What ?  BOGO on the wine today?  I would have bought that! 

9. Letting a car ahead of you on the road and the person doesn't give you the "wave".  What the heck is that about?  I could have ignored you like the other 4 cars but I let you in... give me the courtesy wave you jerkface!

10. Proclaiming to the world you are making a list of 10 things but only being able to think of 9!  Oops... did that just happen to me?  Uh-oh. 

How about you?  Do you have any you would like to add to this list?  Bring it.